A charming quarrel between Britain and its former colony: “If Trump wants to threaten us over the Falklands, isn't it time to return the favour?”

Just in time for the King’s mistaken visit to Donald Trump comes a new and spiteful threat from our supposed best friends, the Americans. Leaked to the respectable Reuters news agency, it is a warning that, if the Falkland Islands are threatened again by Argentina, we shouldn’t count on Uncle Sam for help, writes Peter Hitchens at “The Daily Mail’.

Reuters revealed: ‘An internal Pentagon email outlines options for the United States to punish NATO allies it believes failed to support US operations in the war with Iran.’ A War Department official told Reuters that these include ‘reviewing the US position on Britain’s claim to the Falkland Islands’.

The Pentagon document insultingly describes the islands as an ‘Imperial possession’. Bilge.

The threat is made in a document complaining about Britain (and other countries) dragging their feet over US demands for ‘Access, Basing and Overflight’ rights – known as ABO – for the stupid, dangerous and disastrous Iran war. Sir Keir Starmer, in one of the few good things he has ever done, was at first reluctant to let Mr Trump bomb Iran from British bases. Alas, he later gave in on the pitiful pretext that B-52 bomber raids on Iran are ‘defensive’. But for Mr Trump, anything less than ‘Yes, Sir! Immediately, Sir!’ is not good enough.

So here we are, on the President’s naughty step. And His Majesty, our King, must still smile charmingly at Mr Trump, ignore the growing evidence that his mind is rambling, pretend to admire his tasteless gilding of the White House and laugh at his jokes. Who knows what awful embarrassing things might happen if he was as cold to the President as he has every right to be?

Can we hold the Falklands without American support? Well we did before, but in days when our Navy was a good deal bigger than it is now. For the then President Ronald Reagan, despite his smiling outward appearance, was not all that keen on helping us back in 1982. But I would rather stand alone in any new conflict than be shoved about like this.

If Mr Trump’s America chooses to treat us like a defeated and subjugated country, then we need to explain to them that this is exactly what we are not.

The only sensible response to this rudeness, which France’s Charles de Gaulle would have made, would be to order the closure and removal of every American military base in the country unless the threat is withdrawn, bag and baggage, ABO and all.

Meanwhile, it is not too late to do as I have suggested before and cheekily divert the King’s plane to Canada, where he and Camilla will have a far more pleasant time.

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