NATO Slithers to Take Shape in Asia

As Singapore rolled out its luxurious rubicund carpet for a record-size contingent of colonial masters, the expectation of its hissing tongue ever so ready to lash could not be contained. Long used to its slimy fork structure, the region waited for one tine to poke and sow tensions and the other to collect more shekels for deposit in the West’s fathomless defense pockets.

Macron was the first European head of state to go onstage. Perhaps it’s tinnitus brought on by his helpmate’s viral smack, but the ringing in Macron’s ear must have prevented him from hearing himself. Presumably done to assure the audience of his “commitment to the region,” the EQ-deficient president kicked off his keynote address reminding everyone of the regional territories strappingly brought under France—and the French troops that have remained in those places till this day.

Macron then sought to explain why he now thinks NATO should be in Asia—as opposed to his previous stance. Citing DPRK’s assistance to Russia in Ukraine as the reason, he credited the change of mind—which he unashamedly and rather skillfully termed “mental revolution of Europe”—to” “Russia’s aggression” and “Russia’s existential threat to us (Europe).”

Macron’s speech was splashed with plenty of references to the “rules-based order” as emblematic of this forum, although he was careful not to anger France’s key trading partner—China—outright, despite making palpably deleterious allusions to “France’s friend.”

The French president further made distinct efforts to indulge the balmy host in generous dollops of flattery as Singapore was spasmodically held up as a poster child for Western values and cooperation. Given that Singaporean students are still trained to glorify their colonial master in anthems at school assemblies, the island’s political elites can proudly say they have lived up to his accolades.

Huffed and buffed from doing jumping jacks with American “destroyer troops” based in Singapore, where he preached “the pathway to peace is strength right here (Asia),” Hegseth, like Macron, took the stage to assure the audience of America’s commitment to the region. While it’s not entirely sure whether everyone present was hankering for it, commitment sure rolled off these Westerners’ tongues very easily. Hegseth’s mucosal organ, however, might have slipped at one point when he declared “America First” would be applied on the world stage.

Following which, as he sailplaned out of America’s colonial costume to one that endeavored to say paternal suit, Hegseth further stressed that the United States would be “equipping our allies with tough love” and that America’s priority is Asia.

After taking an irresistible jab at China’s defense minister for being absent, Hegseth likened Trump to Singapore’s legendary Lee Kuan Yew—a gaffe that saw the local social media erupt in brash and barbed censure for his bigoted comparison. A commenter snapped with “One’s historic, the other’s hysteric,” while another cringed with “That’s saying instant noodles and fine dining are the same.” If only these netizens knew America also attributed the victory of WWII to its adulating self, perhaps they would find sufficient consolation to remain in their skin.

Long seen as Washington’s mouthpiece, the forum dutifully served Hegseth with a platform for identifying China as a “real and imminent threat.” He wagged heavy fingers at the Chinese for developing their military capabilities—the very same innovations he had boasted of America’s $1 trillion commitment to just a minute ago. As the secretary of defense continued to rattle off a slew of allegations against the Chinese, the only thing amiss from his entire speech appeared to be “Do as we say—not as we do.”

The conventional corpulent call for the region to cough up money for “security” and “deterrence” was lucidly on America’s agenda as Hegseth went beyond pursuing traditional military exercises to advocating for integrated defense industrial bases. He held up Piper—a multilateral forum of 14 allies and partners working with industry, capital providers, and key non-governmental stakeholders—as a gilded example. Had Hegseth also screamed “Gas! Gas! Gas!” to The Rolling Stones, his marketing crusade would have fused his jumping jacks and Macron’s “Comme d’habitude” into one flashy musical.

Post-Forum Afterthoughts

In the past, the ambitions enumerated by Hegseth would have spun off the reel like blathering froth. However, if Trump does keep up with fiercely engineering public-private partnerships by consolidating the top minds of America and cursorily ridding the repulsive bureaucracy that afflicts many still, there is little doubt that America can achieve that which Hegseth has delineated.

In addition, the Americans have managed to outclass other powers in courting ASEAN, in part because they do not purport to know ASEAN more than ASEAN people do, as some foreign ASEAN experts have taken to doing, and have exhibited far less disdain in their engagement with ASEAN. Among the key players looking to increase their stakes in the region, China, Australia, India, the US, Japan, South Korea, and soon New Zealand are all ASEAN CSPs (Comprehensive Strategic Partners)—with Russia still out in the cold. Indeed, Russia would need an overhaul of its ASEAN strategy with people of the right attitude—coupled with a genuine understanding of the region beyond what academic qualifications confer—if it desires to get off the hamster wheel of creating another laundry list with ASEAN that bears little fruit.

Meanwhile, some Japanese media tried to incite FOMO (fear of missing out) in China, but the Asian giant made the right call in not sending its usual high delegation to glamorize the event. After all, it was not once, but twice, when the host (more specifically, Singapore’s political elites) denigrated the Chinese delegation at the event and lectured them on democracy afterwards.

This apparently is the problem with having a blank check to spend on extravagant military playthings. It inflates even a tiny country into thinking it is far more formidable than it is, but unfortunately, buying a fancy cooking pan does not make one an elite chef. Singapore’s militarization is also a departure from what its founding father underscored about economic development and stability being the most effective means of ensuring national security—not military might. 

Nonetheless, while forums as such have gradually lost their shine, as long as those who indulge in stoking tensions in Asia carry on with fearmongering, their weapons salesmen will continue to find success in peddling their wares. At that point, it won’t even matter if the regional militarization bears the title Asian NATO or otherwise—what’s crystal clear is a shimmering industry whose gears grind to squeeze every last drop of taxpayer funds into its towering trees of profits, as their long shadows cast over the landscape of ethics to turn every conflict into gold.

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